A waterfall of flattery

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Alexis said time was flying- she was not getting any younger…

She put on her big girl pants and decided to go online and start dating. Again. She had put her big toe in the Online Dating Pool and met a few “great guys” who just weren’t right. The last year had been a dating desert.

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She met Hal – a kind, warm, real estate guy who was retiring early and gaga about his four grand children and their parents.

Hal was a gentleman – was thoughtful and effusive with compliments. On their first date he flattered her often and she could feel her cheeks turn red. Again and again. Blushing had been an embarrassment her entire life.

Hal commented that Alexis “glowed.” He was the first man in years who didn’t tease her about the her redness. She thought she looked like neon.

He thought she was the most attractive woman he had ever met online. And told her so. She had to thank him for the compliments and ask him to slow down.

That was last month. They are now very much enamored and constant companions.

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via Photo Challenge: Glow

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Will he call?

Munchkin Disappoints – alltalk – no action!

Laurel Grove loves...

telephone-handset-1678302__340This is the sound of one phone ringing….

“Call Me… don’t be afraid you can call me…”

Since high school, his pals teased him and called him “The Munchkin” – his real name was Mnuchin.
He bragged loud and often he worked on Wall Street and turns out, he had a penchant for exaggerating.
Balding, a little chubby and bespectacled, he loved talking about “perfect genes.”
But, he could talk…he was smooth and a real story teller. We met over cocktails.

cocktail-995574__180I wanted to hear the sound of  ‘Twinkle Twinkle’ on my phone.He said he would call the next day…I nonchalantly cleaned out a closet – my phone in my back pocket waiting for his call…it took an hour to color code all my blouses, shirts, tank tops, T-shirt, and sweaters.

Okay, so I checked to see if my phone was ‘on’ and it was working a half dozen times…

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He thought he was so smart

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His name on Match.com was Mr San Francisco 17

He did not post a photo of himself – just 10 stunning photographs of San Francisco ( lifted from the free site Pixabay) Okay, give him points for creativity – take away points for not posting his real photograph. Some people post fake photos.

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out – fake photos may entice and attract – however, the minute someone meets you in person – the jig is up. You can tap dance as fast as you can trying to explain the need for privacy, modesty, discretion – all that jazz – you are still a fake.

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Clever “Mr SF” met his Match-on-Match when Shelia-Skiier-Tahoe agreed to meet him at Starbucks on the Alameda. Kids, no one in their right mind posts a photo of Marilyn Monroe and claims the ID. Shelia – in a what was I thinking mood did. 

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MR SF walked into Starbucks, Shelia was seated at a table by the window looking for a San Francisco kind of a guy. On the phone, planning the date,  he said he would be “casual.”

Define Casual.

He walked right by her and she looked right through him. They sat at seperate tables sipping their coffees, waiting, scouring their phones – to kill time. Twenty minutes passed and Shelia became angry – she had been stood up.

Across the busy cafe, he became riled and decided to call the Tahoe Skiier. He dialled her number, she picked up and he asked her where she was. She asked him where he was. He said, “Starbucks,” and she loooked around. There were three guys speaking on their phones near her. Evidently, the tall, thin, red-head with the dressy, black leather pants was ‘the guy.’

He looked nothing like the John Cusak photo posted. Momentarily indignant, realizing her folly, she stood up and walked over to the red-head. 

No one but the two of them knows what was said. She walked out first. He sat at the table- looking our the window and watched her drive away in a brand new, red Tesla.

He always want to drive a Tesla, he called her again.

She didn’t pick up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Genius

Big Romance: Was it Fate?

Danny and Shelly met at a school dance and fell in love. She thought he was the coolest guy she had ever met- very McDreamy. He was dazzled by her energy, her quest for fun and the best kisses he had ever enjoyed. They went steady for several years before they tied the knot.

Four of Shelly’s best friends were also at the fateful dance and left early – no one asked them to dance – they could catch 10:00 movie and be perfectly happy. Armed with boxes of  red licorice and MaiTai’s-in-a-can the friends laughed, quaffed and loved the movie.

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The next morning, Annie was at her cafeteria breakfast station serving bacon and eggs to the early risers. She loved the fact that 80% of her customers were guys – she got her flirt on and met dozens of guys. She gave the cute guys twice the bacon allowed; a girl has to do – what a girl has to do.

Annie was popular.

Patty, Annie’s roommate,  loved the Mai Tais and the movie and the following day made a point to park her breakfast tray at a cafeteria table with guys. She was a pretty cute coquette and told the four guys at her table to look out, she was taken a census.

She asked: “How many went to the school dance?” They admitted,  all of them went.  They slowly offered that they stayed for a half an hour – and left to watch a baseball game.

They said the dance was awkward.  Just like High School…

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Coincidence

Prayers…are not enough

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Too many guns…

 

Opinion Nicholas Kristof

2. Impose a minimum age limit of 21 on gun purchases. This is already the law for handgun purchases in many states, and it mirrors the law on buying alcohol.

3. Enforce a ban on possession of guns by anyone subject to a domestic violence protection order. This is a moment when people are upset and prone to violence against their ex-es.

4. Limit gun purchases by any one person to no more than, say, two a month, and tighten rules on straw purchasers who buy for criminals. Make serial numbers harder to remove.

5. Adopt microstamping of cartridges so that they can be traced to the gun that fired them, useful for solving gun crimes.

6. Invest in “smart gun” purchases by police departments or the U.S. military, to promote their use. Such guns require a PIN or can only be fired when near a particular bracelet or other device, so that children cannot misuse them and they are less vulnerable to theft. The gun industry made a childproof gun in the 1800’s but now resists smart guns.

7. Require safe storage, to reduce theft, suicide and accidents by children.

8. Invest in research to see what interventions will be more effective in reducing gun deaths. We know, for example, that alcohol and guns don’t mix, but we don’t know precisely what laws would be most effective in reducing the resulting toll. Similar investments in reducing other kinds of accidental deaths have been very effective.