Are you a Peacock or a Puppy?

 

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“Some animals are cunning and evil-disposed, as the fox; others, as the dog, are fierce, friendly, and fawning. Some are gentle and easily tamed, as the elephant; some are susceptible of shame, and watchful, as the goose. Some are jealous and fond of ornament, as the peacock.”         Aristotle

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Dating styles vary from person to person.

Indeed, there are peacocks- everywhere like the packs of “High Glam Girls,” strutting, preying, showing off-  in an effort to be noticed. Lorelei was like that.

Her Match.com motto was “A girl has to eat.” She went out to dinner three times a week -usually with a different man. She kept a meticulous Excel spreadsheet on where she went, with whom and what she wore. It was almost full time job.

Her real job as a nanny, paid the bills while dining out saved her a lot of wampum. She rarely had to shop for groceries, as she had a small kennel of Doggy Bags from fabulous restaurants lining the shelves of her refrigerator.

The other nannys in the park were amazed by her fierce competitive nature. Lorelei bragged, loudly and often,  about her social life. Did she really go out with strange men – for dinner- and not dessert?

They often wondered if she was telling the truth.

 

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Fierce

My first Tinder trap: one woman’s tale

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On a dare, I tried Tinder.

Like everybody else, I read the scathing Vanity Fair article, Tinder is the Night.

Skanky accounts of Strangers in the Night hooking up for a quick tryst and “Hit him and Quit him” were pretty revolting.

Boys Just Want to Have Sex

My former college roommate is now a Stanford PhD and has a passel of millennials on her couch lamenting the SillyCon Valley Social Scene. This highly educated, very professional, and uber-smart, married woman dared me to try Tinder. (Note: at one time, said PhD was a table top dancing, lampshade-wearing party girl)

Let it be said, three Moscow Mules can erase inhibitions.

We were up and running and signed in and within five minutes, the aforepictured guy appears. Obviously, Matt Damon, George  Clooney were busy.

We howled. This had to be a joke.

And, indeed it was. Mr Funny Photo is a rockstar writer on the fabulous site, Medium.

He, too, was playing in the shallow end at Tinder. 

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Fake~~~~

OK, Cupidyou are Next!

Obvious

What “Hit the Road, Jack” really means

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I left small, subtle hints that it was time for him to leave.

Early on, we both agreed I was the best girlfriend ever.

No doubt about it. I am the classic Peggy Lee W-o-m-a-n – (See below*)

And he had morphed into the quintessential Peggy Lee “Is that all there is?”

“…Then I fell in love, head over heels in love, with the most wonderful boy in the world. We would take long walks by the river or just sit for hours gazing into each other’s eyes.
We were so very much in love.  Then one day…..I decided  he should go  away – hasta la vista, baby…  and when I did, I said to myself, “is that all there is to love?”

Ya, baby! So, hit the road, Jack…and, even though his name was Bartholomew – he took a hint.

Once again, learning about love in all the wrong places.

*I’m a WOMAN

If you come to me sickly you know I’m gonna make you well
If you come to me all hexed up you know I’m gonna break the spell
If you come to me hungry you know I’m gonna fill you full of grits
If it’s lovin you’re likin, I’ll kiss you and give you the shiverin’ fits
‘Cause I’m a woman! W-O-M-A-N, I’ll say it again
!

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Next!


Learning

Itsy, bitsy, teeny, white lies

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He, said she said…

He wrote that he was “Tall, dark and handsome,” she described herself  as  “Petite, sweet and a princess, in the best sense.”

They agree to meet downtown, at the Anza Hotel Lobby Bar. It was Happy Hour and the place was packed. She walked around the room twice looking for Mr Tall and didn’t see anyone who matched his self-proclaimed description.

He arrived early and scored a table in  the corner – perfect viewing spot.

He ordered a martini and waited. And looked and checked and re-checked  his phone for a message.

She sat at the bar – and did the swivel head search – every few minutes. She just knew he was a stupid, all talk no action, “No show” and she  started talking to the woman next to her. Within minutes, they were in a deep conversion about men in their 30’s – they were all alike. They were  just “Little boys” who wanted to play until they hit 34 and realized they had better get married! 

The two strangers – sat in different corners of the bar -neither really looking like the descriptions they offered. Fated never to meet.

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“There are no white lies, there is only the blackest of destruction, and a white lie is the blackest of all.”
Ayn Rand

Miniature

August full Moon…fleeting

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The romantic August full moon is called the Sturgeon Moon, Corn Moon or Grain Moon.

It falls on August 18 at 9:27 UTC, which is before sunrise… So tonight’s moon is closest to full for us in the Americas.

At U.S. time zones, full moon comes on August 18 at 5:27 a.m. EDT, 4:27 a.m. CDT, 3:27 a.m. MDT and 2:27 a.m. PDT.

The moon is full for a only fleeting moment …banner-1080618__180

Old Wives Tale?  Kissing under a full moon is said to be a precursor to a walk down the aisle with the one you love.

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Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.

Buddha

Moon

I left my heart in San Francisco, darn!

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I did a Tony Bennett

I moved from San Francisco – and my old dull and dreary Market Street job. My beau of four months bliss promised to follow me to The Valley – the land of milk and honey and apple-bumble-cisco-tinder…

While my new job is getting better and better every day – my commute is a breeze. And I have a handful of cool new friends who want to explore Aptos, Pescadero, and make a quick run to Gilroy – not for garlic- the Outlets! 

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My friend, X and My Beau took the train to visit me last month. I was thrilled. In no time,  I noticed the chemistry the two of them had developed in my short absence. A certain patois. Shared jokes. She touched him way too many times and I felt like pushing her away and saying, “He’s mine!”

What do you do when your soon to be best lover starts seeing your soon to be ex best buddy?
Unknown-75

 

 

Complicated

Anderson Valley: The Other Wine Country

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Good Morning, Anderson Valley!

Nothing could be more sublime that waking up at High Rock Ranch in

Northern California. 

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Travel north from San Francisco – pass by Marin County, and Santa Rosa and turn left at Cloverdale. Take Hwy 128.

The Ranch and Vineyards are located just beyond the tiny town of Yorkville and just before Boonville.

Morning

Check out the VRBO Site for highrockranch.com

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“When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive – to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love”    

Marcus Aurelius

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Perhaps she was a little over the top

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Lady De is the consummate bon vivant.

She is the high society maven with “Dinner and Drinks” three nights a week. The remaining days are filled with the Opera, Symphony, Openings, Galas, and fund raisers. Many, many fundraisers, darling.

It takes a small army to get her dressed, painted, coifed, and out the door.

Her dentist and dermatologist are both at 450 Sutter. A quick walk over to Maiden Lane for a massage and then her hair and nails are done. Presto!

Her driver waits in front of 77 Maiden Lane with a tiny refrigerator in the back seat replete with tiny bottles of Perrier, and splits of Champagne. She must hydrate.

When she returns home, Connie is in the kitchen preparing a small “Green Drink” teeming with kale, chia seeds, berries and imported water.

Her PA, Helene, is at the door, waiting,  with De’s calendar, and all the  phone messages arranged, just so. Exactly so.

Upstairs, her bed chamber is kept at a cool 60 degrees.  She slips between the Frette sheets for a 30-minute power nap, prior to going out.

Stanley, her best friend and  her “walker,” will arrive via Uber at 7:30 pm to review her hair, makeup and  ensemble du jour. He has created Excel spreadsheet of her wardrobe and events. He is her best critic.

And, they are off!

Maybe this small army is over the top. Perhaps. It appears to be necessity.

LadyDe knows no other way life. Her home is her castle- a veritable museum. And she runs the  show. She likes it like that.

 

 

Maybe

Funny – but not ha-ha funny

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They had the audacity to call me a gold digger!

My mother told me it was, “Just as easy to love a rich man as a poor man.”

(And a whole lot more fun, I thought at age 18)

Flash forward, and I am meeting a parade really rich guys- tons of them. Everyday.

Generally, they are very smart,shy, dull, quiet, OCD, ADHD, and socially awkward.

Sure, there are a bunch of over-compensating Erlich Bachman of Silicon Valley  wannabes…

And a bunch of Rock n Roll one-upon-a-timers

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I met Mark at Santana Row. We were both having a beer at The Counter. He was friendly. He could carry on a conversation sans long, awkward silences. He read books and went to movies…at Sundance…in his dad’s Citation. 

So we hung out. We Ubered to San Francisco a lot.

Then he had to go to Nicaragua to help out at his dad’s company.

My green-with-envy roommates said I was a gold digger. Ha!

Next!

Joke