Ralph was a dashing, carefree, handsome man. He drove a hot car, wore great clothes, and loved to drive to Marin County for romantic dinners, drinks, and long walks along the water.
They met online, had coffee the next day, she was instantly smitten. He had impeccable manners and was smart and funny. During their coffee date, he reached across the table and held her hand. She melted.
While they had only dated for two months, Glenda was over the moon in love.
She thought Ralph was capricious and charismatic and a complete anomaly- nothing like the “boys’ she had dated.
On their first date, he wisked her away to Sausalito for dinner. He had a beautiful bouquet of flowers in the car. He brought a bottle of wine to the restaurant and after the date, asked if he might kiss her. That was a 30-minute kiss. He open the car door for her, and Glenda floated back to her apartment. And so it began.
He called her twice a day – he worked weekends – so they went to dinner mid-week. Her friends were dying to meet “Mr Right” however, his busy work schedule precluded any weekend dinner parties, brunch dates or luncheons. Glenda was happy to comply with his quirky schedule.
And then it happened. Glenda’s best friend, Tiffany, was getting married and there were a slew of parties, events and gatherings. Glenda told Ralph about the parties in and round the City – and he apologized – he was sorry – work was so busy- he couldn’t make any of the events. Glenda hadn’t even told him about the mid week wine tasting at Rigolo and the private party at Spruce for three couples. He simply graciously- bowed out of everything. They went back to her apartment and it was, his dictum, “Discussion closed.” He couldn’t spend the night – ever – work was just too busy.
There was a tiny crack in his chivalrous facade. At one time, Glenda thought “googling the guy” was crass and invasive. That night, she spent an hour with Google. She was inventive and persistent. And, then very angry.
It seems, Ralph had been deliberately ambiguous – she called it “flirty” and thought he was playing hard to get. Nope. He was a married man who lived in South San Francisco. He had kids. He was a bona fide lair and a cheat.
She told that much when he called the next morning.
Always: Google the Guy or the Girl.