Johnny and Jane met online. Perhaps she went a little fast. She will readily admit to not “Reading all the words.” She skims, looks at pictures of men served up on the online dating sites and gets excited.
She pushes the “Send” Button way too soon.
Johnny is a CPA named “John,” during the day. He works for a pretty famous company – and has been with this Fortune 400 company for over 2o years.
After 6:oo pm, the necktie and Hush Puppies disappear. John does a metamorphosis and, bingo! he is Johnny. He posted photos of himself in leathers, near his bike, with a helmet, mostly not.
Women either love it or loathe it. Jane like that Johnny rode a bike, liked adventure, and wanted to join a Club for couples who ride. He was cute – hiding behind the mask of sunglasses.
In the sleep hygiene class, Marta- who bragged about being awake every night for months shared that she and her husband had gone to Lake Tahoe for a week and that she slept like a baby. The teacher commented that often times the change of environment is conducive to sleep. The class was abuzz ( read: mildly hysterical) with numerous ideas about going away for a good nights sleep.
That weekend, Patsy the insomniac stockbroker from San Francisco, checked into the beautiful Anza Hotel in downtown San Jose. She arrived with her meditation tapes, iPod, sleeping pills, eye mask, Sleepy-bye Tea and lavender spray. She said the linens on the king- size bed were pure luxury; the air conditioner hummed quietly, an ambient noise and she slept from 11 PM to 7 AM without a hitch. She woke up refreshed and happy and couldn’t wait to do that again! A perfect night sleep had alluded her for years.
Patsy’s soon-to-be fiancé, George, lived in a beautiful condo in San Francisco on Nob Hill. Each evening he strapped on his elephantine CPAP machine and slept like a baby. The cacophony of street noises on Nob Hill kept Patsy awake – so, she rarely spent the night there. George got a little grumpy and threw small tantrum about where they were going to sleep each weekend. She has been so sleep deprived for so many years – her passion for sleep almost outweighed her interest in George. True. It had come to that.
The tantrum gave her a new perspective on old George; and the sublime good night’s sleep give her a new goal – to re-create the hotel suite – down to the most infinite detail. Sweet dreams.
The couple is taking a break. They agreed to speak in two weeks and decide to go forward or not.
Madison tells the story of her friend, Zoe, coming to visit from Kansas City. Zoe was thrilled to be in California and couldn’t wait to party with “cool Silicon Valley guys.” Madison opined that was an oxymoron. She claimed the boys in The Valley were just like High School or big Private Party sex orgy jerks (see: Vanity Fair)
Zoe suggested having a party in the apartment Rec Room and to put up signs and balloons. Madison rolled her eyes and said that was “way too Mid West.” Not one to take “No” to party planning – Zoe was full steam ahead and placed Party Invites on various bulletin boards around the huge apartment complex and encouraged Madison to text all her friends. Let’s party!
Shelia was thrilled to be up and running onTinder.
She had dabbled on EHarmony and Match.com and grew tired of the back and forth messaging- she dubbed both sites “all talk no action.”
Her 30-year old neice, Patsy, bragged about her dozens of dates on Tinder. Patsy was out every night and her dating domain was Rosewood in Palo Alto.
Shelia got the Cliff Notes from her neice: they discussed “age and distance” and set up the account. Daters over 30 pay $19.99 to get in the game. She would swipe Right if she liked the guy – swipe Left to reject.
The photos of the men in Shelia’s age group were eclectic. There was the stout guy without a shirt, a guy wearing a lampshade, a man and his gun, and an old photo of #45.
She had reservations about going forward. Confused by the barrage of bizarro boys, she let her neice handle her foray in Tinder World.
In two weeks time, Shelia bragged and called herself a Tinder heart. She had ten dates with a wide variety of men. Her acuity in Swiping was much improved. She readily admits 50% of the guys were looking for a one night stand. The novelly waned.
Fortunately, she ran into George at Whole Foods, in a very long check out line, and a connection happened. Just like that. She encourages smiling at strangers. A lot.
All you friends say you have to meet a guy for “Fancy Drinks” on a first date.
Wimpy Coffee Dates are for Baby Boomers. Baaa
The Hip, Cool, Smart, Kids meet for Designer Cocktails involving crushed lavender, bitters, and a potpourri of now hip -soon to be “dated” trendy liquids.
Wanna throw back a hot drink called Nitro Gimlet? Your grandparents sipped Gimlets – They’re baaaack! A new liquor emporium lists extensive selection of Boilermakers ( yawn) chamomile bourbon, chili arbol, banana liqueur, and oloroso sherry. Yum-banana liqueur – better on pancakes!
Wanna be French Quarter-ish: Try a San Francisco Hurricane with Two kinds of light/ dark rum, Galliano, citrus, passion fruit, bitters. I thought Galliano died with Mateus and Annie GreenSprings Wine.
Hey, Apple Boy of my eye – Why not try All About Eve Concotion of walnut-washed bourbon, Foro amaro, cocchi di Torino, and bitters. Buckle Up,Binkie, it is going to be a bumpy ride when you have zero idea what those ingredients are. Whats with all the Bitters?
Worst named Cocktail du Jour:Swizzle My Nizzle As expected? Fresh passionfruit, with a dollop of blanco tequila, modicum of vanilla, a squeeze of lime, and a blast of firewater bitters. Yum? Dum?
You decide…it may be an oversight meet for drinks-with-bitters,etc
and to miss the initial classic coffee date and the “getting to know you” hour.
Every year, it is the same old thing: the Classic Christmas Conundrum.
Mr Right, my beau du jour, is a bon vivant, man around town, who attends myriad social events, parties, sporting events (season ticket holder extraordinaire) all year long. The very big bonus – I get to Go-With.
(I gracefully bow out of boxing and wrestling.)
Mr Sort of Saville Row has been single for a very long time -and thrives on shopping at all the finest stores. He wouldn’t think of a stroll through “Merely Macys.” He has a very smart, very professional, Personal Shopper at Norsdtrom at Valley Fair.
He loves the famous men’s store in Sausalito, Gene Hiller. Men in the know, flock to this emporium of sartorial delights – for the finest suits, stunning leather jackets, the most exquisite dress shirts in a calvacade of gorgeous colors.
However, I recently learned his real shopping Achilles heel.
Missy and Tiffany, 22, just graduated from The Big School in Palo Alto. They studied so hard, that they partied very little.
Now, it was time for them to learn about happy hour, cocktails and mixology. Before exploring the numerous hot spots they read about on Yelp, the did what most nerds do to learn about “things.” The went online and got drunk on information.
Tiffany thought Drinking Well and not throwing up in public was important.
Missy wanted to learn to like Scotch and wanted to know exactly what to order in a dive bar. Her cousin told her not to order a Cosmopolitan in a skanky, dive bar. She learned Rum/Coke, Gin/Tonic, Vodka/Orange were all very cool to order. The two girls spent hours scouring Supercall.com
Somewhere, Missy had heard about a Palo Alto hot spot called Rosewood. the girl decided to dress up and go play where the big kids were. They would merely copy the other girls.
The two, petite, recent college graduates spent hours on Pinterest looking at cocktail dresses and traipsed through H&M and Forever 21. They both bought dresses, went on YouTube for make up tips and they were ready.
Read the fine print
The girls entered the bar and saw swarms of women floating around flirting. There were many men – lots looked like engineers from their classes. They “bellied up to the bar,” as instructed online. They both ordered white wine, to be safe. Liquor might be quicker, but they were still a little unsure.
The floorshow– was women in two’s and three’s drinking with one man, going on to another, people leaving the bar and returning was like watching The Animal Channel. It no time, the girls realized they were in Cougar Town.
They were out of their comfort zone – but stayed to watch.