Sleeping far from the maddening crowd?

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In the sleep hygiene class, Marta-  who bragged about being awake every night for months shared that she and her husband had gone to Lake Tahoe for a week and that she slept like a baby.  The teacher commented that often times the change of environment is conducive to sleep. The class was abuzz ( read: mildly hysterical)  with numerous ideas about going away for a good nights sleep.

That weekend, Patsy the insomniac stockbroker from San Francisco, checked into the beautiful Anza Hotel in downtown San Jose. She arrived with her meditation tapes, iPod, sleeping pills, eye mask, Sleepy-bye Tea and lavender spray. She said the linens on the king- size bed were pure luxury; the air conditioner hummed quietly, an ambient noise and she slept from 11 PM to 7 AM without a hitch. She woke up refreshed and happy and couldn’t wait to do that again! A perfect night sleep had alluded her for years. 

Patsy’s soon-to-be fiancé, George, lived in a beautiful condo in San Francisco on Nob Hill. Each evening he strapped on his elephantine CPAP machine and slept like a baby. The cacophony of street noises on Nob Hill kept Patsy awake – so, she rarely spent the night there. George got a little grumpy and threw small tantrum about where they were going to sleep each weekend. She has been so sleep deprived for so many years – her passion for sleep almost outweighed her interest in George. True.  It had come to that.

The tantrum gave her a new perspective on old George; and the sublime good night’s sleep give her a new goal – to re-create the hotel suite – down to the most infinite detail. Sweet dreams.

pexels-photo-306534.jpegThe couple is taking a break. They agreed to speak in two weeks and decide to go forward or not. 

 

 

 

 

 

via Daily Prompt: Tantrum

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San Jose Dating: Fright or Flight?

First, there were the Boys in the Dorm. Zero.

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Then, the Socially Awkward Boys at Google:pexels-photo-981096.jpeg

So, you try Tinder...Bumble…Plenty of Fish and then Match.com

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Madison tells the story of her friend, Zoe, coming to visit from Kansas City. Zoe was thrilled to be in California and couldn’t wait to party with “cool Silicon Valley guys.” Madison opined that was an oxymoron. She claimed the boys in The Valley were just like High School or big  Private Party sex orgy jerks (see: Vanity Fair)  Zoe suggested having a party in the apartment Rec Room and to put up signs and balloons. Madison rolled her eyes and said that was “way too Mid West.” Not one to take “No” to party planning – Zoe was full steam ahead and placed Party Invites on various bulletin boards around the huge apartment complex and encouraged  Madison to text all her friends. Let’s party!

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Tomorrow: Party like it was 1950

He was hiding behind photos of his dog?

We were both amused by the guy on Eharmony who posted photos of his dog. Many photos of his pet – none of himself.

Lynne invited me over ot look at her recent “Interested” guys online. She is visiting her parents in Saratoga and needed a break.

She says she had been exchanging emails with a guy who claims to be close to the Oval Office and insisted he must  be discreet. He signed his first note “Hogan,”

which seemed odd. Hogans Heroes?  His notes to Lynne ( no phone calls, no text messages, yet) were upbeat and newsy. He dropped little Washington gossip quips.

Lynne works for a huge law firm in our Nation’s Capital – and never reveals that information until she knows a person for awhile.  For all Hogan knew, she was a writer. However, he dropped /bragged several clues regarding himself: love of Ole Miss and of beautiful Arkansas were folded into an email Week Number Two.

Google the guy – oh, my!

As clever as Hogan tried to be…the gift size clues he dropped allowed Lynne to “Out” him lickety split. She had her pals back in DC scope him out and she Googled the ever-livin’ life out of his “clues.”

He worked on two failed campigns and was not employed at the time. He had been “let go” a lot of people.

Lynne slipped away;  quickly blocked his emails and went about her merry dating life.

What were they thinking?

Dates bombing at the bar? Think: coffee

cocktail-995574__180Are you playing Hide and Seek with First Dates?

Is he interested  and available and then- Bam! He disappears? 

Pssst: We call these guys Rude Dudes. And, advise you to avoid them at all costs,

Mimi B. lives in Millbrae ad considers herself a pretty, smart, successful woman. She had several boyfriends in college. She dated the love-of-her-life for two years before he broke up with her  and married someone else, a year later. She had dabbled on Match and jumped over to Bumble

She enjoyed a flood of attention and met tons of guys who were “Fine, not dreat.” Next. She got swept up with Tinder. Mimi B regales her friends with Tinder stories- some have been great- others laughbable and some very disappointing. Then she hit her stride. She laughed she could teach a class on weeding out dead end dates and the all-talk-no-action boys.

Have you ever been Stood Up? How many times?  More than once? Twice? More?

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Date night: You are dressed up, looking good, excited to meet the man you have been swiping texting thinking dreaming about…No dummy you, you text him to confirm the 9 pm drinks/date at the HaRa. Crickets. Tapping your foot – your mind races thinking of myriad excuses…another?

A Three Way With Ben and Jerry Sounds Good?

Scoop: Try a simple coffee date…meet your dates in daylight.

Keep it Simple. Cocktails on Date #2.

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This is not a lecture…just well-reseached data on dating.

“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.”

Winston Churchill

 

Lecture

Tell me how you really feel?

Signs of the Times

Any good Dating Coach will tell you to tread lightly when discussing politics on the first date. On the other hand, Mitzie in Milpitas had definite opinions and wanted the political cards on the table from the beginning. Her profile picture, entitled “I’m as mad as hell…”said it all .       anger-18658__340

No one would call her candid, political, feelings flirtacious, demure, or seductive. And, yet she attracted a number of men who agreed wth her passionate political agenda. Mitzie admitted, a ton of really out-there guys responded to her photo. Some of them were downright scary. 

It didn’t take Mitzi long to realize online dating sites were not the venue for espousing her private political views. She found greater success, more clicks and winks with a professional photo and a light, more subdued profile. She would wait for the right time to discuss politics.

pexels-photo-235462.jpegBe discreet in all things, and so render it unnecessary to be mysterious.

Arthur Wellesley

 

 

 

 

Candid

Romantic success story

cloud-600224__180-2Colleen will tell you she had so much fun her first three years being single while swimming in online dating pool.

First she met Johnny on Chemistry.com. She met Fred on JDate, Michael on Match and then Bert and Rick and Paul and Henry followed.

Her married friends were entertained with her stories.

She had “dates” three nights a week- her dance card was a very full- and her stories were fun and some exciting.

Colleen says she had been depressed for so long, she forgot how to have fun. Her celebratory party after the divorce was “the beginning” of a new a chapter and a new life.

After college, she had been a waitress, then a flight attendant. She transitioned into sales and became the director. She met Mr. Right – married, had kids. She had numerous part-time jobs and after years of marital struggles; she finally mustered the courage to divorce her husband.

Her best friend, Lilly, the copywriter, help her with her online profiles, she took the flattering pictures and got her up and running all in one afternoon.

By Monday morning, Colleen’s email box was full of winks and blinks from interested men. Lilly had warned her it would be a feeding frenzy in the beginning – she would be considered” fresh meat.” Colleen loved all the attention she was getting. She fell in and out of love multiple times and said she “really enjoyed every crush.”

15DATING1-master675Much to her surprise, one day Colleen re-kindled a relationship with a man from her college days. They ran into one another at a Santa Clara Wine Tasting. Kismet. She then  dated Tim, exclusively,  for three years before they made plans to move in together.

She says she is blissfully embarking upon her Happily Every After Chapters.

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Blink

He had one talent?

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Mike J. fell in love every week. Each week, he scrolled the pages of the online dating sites. He said It was a babe-buffet. 

Look but don’t touch

Mike J. spent a month looking – before he garnered the courage to sign up and jump into the dating pool. Cleverly, he checked out men’s profiles to determine what women want. He asked his sister to help him with  photographs and penning  his profile. It took much longer than he thought. When it came to listing his interests and  hobbies, Mike J came up empty. He watched television – a lot. He went to the gym a couple of times a month. He didn’t have hobbies. 

His favorite time of the year was Halloween, and his forte was his creative pumpkin carving. He was famous in high school and set up shop. Each Halloween, he consistently had 50 orders at $10.00 – $25.00 per for uniquely designed pumpkins. In college, he kept his secret talent quiet. When he started at his job, there was no way he wanted anyone to know about his deft knife handling hobby.

His younger sister urged him to brag about his artitstic ability. He bit. The lack of interest in him was sobering. He was crestfallen.

Pumpkin Carving Youtube

Buzzkill: Fact- very few women are going to be enamored with a man who has one, single, skill  when it involves pumpkins. Get creative, think outside of the box. If you are an artistic genius – brag – promote yourself.

Conceit is bragging about yourself. Confidence means you believe you can get the job done.

Johnny Unitas

 

Carve