Are you playing Old Maid? No Way

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Once upon a time, along time ago, Single women were called spinsters.

As a child, I remember there were church ladies: widows, old maids, spinsters-wearing gloves, hats and sensible shoes, with dark wool coats and purses on their arms.

They seemed quiet, demure and quaint-very Eleanor Rigby- holed up in apartments. It seemed there was a small, army of quiet women.

Who’s to say there weren’t weekly parties with pitchers of martini’s, embroidered cocktail napkins, Wedgewood plates piled high with Pigs in a Blanket, silver bowls with warm, salted almonds, Velveeta squares on a Ritz crackers and the stereo playing Rachmaninov and Sinatra?

Flash forward, and, today, Single women come in many shapes, sizes and status. Some of us are Single-on-purpose, divorced, widowed, not interested, Gay, happy alone, still looking.

We are a sisterhood.

Fact: Women can lapse into a serious conversation with another woman in the time it takes to cross a boulevard. A simple, “I like you shoes,” has opened multiple, brief, heart-to-hearts.

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Yesterday, well over 2 million women (allies, kindred spirits, mates, new friends) gathered in 300 cities together– all over America – with their hearts in the same place. There was an invisible blanket of love and righteous indignation hovering over all.

Girls don’t like bullies. We don’t like mean, lying, cheating, tyrants or intimidators. We loathe sadistic, brutish and diabolical people. We are beyond incensed when our elected leaders sink to the depths of dishonesty and deceit.

Women are daughters, sisters, cousins, aunts, mothers and grandmothers…we may be kind and benevolent- however, we are not taking it any more.

We are not.

We Shall Persist. We Shall Resist.

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Romantic success story

cloud-600224__180-2Colleen will tell you she had so much fun her first three years being single while swimming in online dating pool.

First she met Johnny on Chemistry.com. She met Fred on JDate, Michael on Match and then Bert and Rick and Paul and Henry followed.

Her married friends were entertained with her stories.

She had “dates” three nights a week- her dance card was a very full- and her stories were fun and some exciting.

Colleen says she had been depressed for so long, she forgot how to have fun. Her celebratory party after the divorce was “the beginning” of a new a chapter and a new life.

After college, she had been a waitress, then a flight attendant. She transitioned into sales and became the director. She met Mr. Right – married, had kids. She had numerous part-time jobs and after years of marital struggles; she finally mustered the courage to divorce her husband.

Her best friend, Lilly, the copywriter, help her with her online profiles, she took the flattering pictures and got her up and running all in one afternoon.

By Monday morning, Colleen’s email box was full of winks and blinks from interested men. Lilly had warned her it would be a feeding frenzy in the beginning – she would be considered” fresh meat.” Colleen loved all the attention she was getting. She fell in and out of love multiple times and said she “really enjoyed every crush.”

15DATING1-master675Much to her surprise, one day Colleen re-kindled a relationship with a man from her college days. They ran into one another at a Santa Clara Wine Tasting. Kismet. She then  dated Tim, exclusively,  for three years before they made plans to move in together.

She says she is blissfully embarking upon her Happily Every After Chapters.

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Blink

He had one talent?

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Mike J. fell in love every week. Each week, he scrolled the pages of the online dating sites. He said It was a babe-buffet. 

Look but don’t touch

Mike J. spent a month looking – before he garnered the courage to sign up and jump into the dating pool. Cleverly, he checked out men’s profiles to determine what women want. He asked his sister to help him with  photographs and penning  his profile. It took much longer than he thought. When it came to listing his interests and  hobbies, Mike J came up empty. He watched television – a lot. He went to the gym a couple of times a month. He didn’t have hobbies. 

His favorite time of the year was Halloween, and his forte was his creative pumpkin carving. He was famous in high school and set up shop. Each Halloween, he consistently had 50 orders at $10.00 – $25.00 per for uniquely designed pumpkins. In college, he kept his secret talent quiet. When he started at his job, there was no way he wanted anyone to know about his deft knife handling hobby.

His younger sister urged him to brag about his artitstic ability. He bit. The lack of interest in him was sobering. He was crestfallen.

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Buzzkill: Fact- very few women are going to be enamored with a man who has one, single, skill  when it involves pumpkins. Get creative, think outside of the box. If you are an artistic genius – brag – promote yourself.

Conceit is bragging about yourself. Confidence means you believe you can get the job done.

Johnny Unitas

 

Carve

Feeling like Cinderella?

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Once upon a time…not that long ago, this happened:

On Monday mornings Do you Suffer from from Post Weekend Melancholia?

Listen to this Cinderella story for hope and optimism

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When Cinderella returned home after the ball – her spirits plummeted from levels of unbridled bliss and joy, she lapsed back to the mundane of hearth and home. 

All she had were vibrant, ephemeral, memories of the time very well spent and one cold, glass slipper.

She’d been in the arms of the True Prince and had been treated like a princess. She reveled in an melange of massages, manicures, merriment and fabulous gourmet meals. She sighed, again. She found herself sighing a lot more with this Prince.

Wistfully, she reminisced how the two playfully merged their imaginations and talents in creating romantic interludes. The charming Prince was gallant sweet and kind. And, seductive. She responded politely with oceans of affection. 

In all the land, no other could rival the good Prince’s kisses. He had developed a unique use of elevators for quick  passionate interludes.

Of course, his castle was the only building for dozens of miles with an elevator.

A brilliant businessman, he had a corner on the kingdom real estate market – and marketing was the skill set he embraced… that and Cinderella-  he embraced her often, too

And, so it begins… they were about to to live happily ever after.

The beginning.

 

 

 

Brilliant

How to win him over – in one meal

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Krissey believes in breakfast. She calls it the most seductive meal of the day. 

She heartily believes the way to man’s heart is through good wine, great food, and song and and not only can she both cook and sing (not concurrently -unless requested) she also has a wine cellar of some renown.  Breakfast  – the best meal of the day- is her strong suit.

She and Stanley had been dating for two years and she thought she had an almost-on- the-brink of a marriage proposal. They had spent a romantic weekend at Pebble Beach- enjoyed golf, wine-tasting, long walks on the beach, and something she calls a smoochathon. He showered her with compliments and agreed it was the most romantic weekend ever.

Krissey invited Stanley over for a special breakfast the next day. Over tall glasses of Champagne, Eggs Benedict and 24-hour prepped bacon, Stanley continued his romantic quips and kisses. He admitted to be seduced-by her cooking- everything she prepared was exquisite.

Krissey is too much of a lady to provide many details, however, she brags that after her piece d’ resistance breakfast, Stanley proposed and suggested a trip downtown to the jeweler. And so it begins.

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Almost

Spooked by the New Year?

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You better watch out …You better not cry… 2018 is upon us

Most will agree, the last year has been spooky, disheartening, shocking and darn right scary.

What does one do in these dire circumstances? Do the Great Escape and leave town?  

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Seek out Impeach Jam Recipeshomemade-jam-1886343__340

images-11Divorce DeVos

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Or have yourself a cozy little gathering with like minded individuals?

First, make yourself a reputation for being a creative genius. Second, surround yourself with partners who are better than you are. Third, leave them to go get on with it.

David Ogilvy

 

 

Cozy

Boyfriend Probs: Multiply or Divide?

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If you think Breaking Up is hard to do…

Mallory loved Kevin. He was everything she had been looking for her “whole life.”

They had been hot and heavy for an entire year when the ruse was off the bloom – in a matter of speaking.

Mallory had been on her best girfriend behavior the whole time. She was the perfect girlfriend and worked on it. Meanwhile, Kevin was comfortable with her, enjoyed her -for the time being. She had no idea he was so cavalier. She assumed they were both on the same page.

They had attended three  weddings together and each time Mallory imagined herself the bride. She had been building a “My Wedding”  scrapbook since high school. She knew exactly who would attend, what she would wear, when it would take place (Winter) where (her parent’s country club.)

She and Kevin were so blissfully  comfortable together -they were just a perfect couple- so she thought.

golden-bangle-uprightOn Christmas, she really expected The Ring to be under the tree, or in her stocking or  in his hand when he was on one knee. It didn’t happen. As a matter of fact, Kevin flew to his parents home for Christmas made plans to return for New Year’s Eve.

This was disturbing for Mallory. Her friends chimed in and commented this was odd behavior and her parents inquired as to Kevin’s disappearance.

Denial 101: Mallory had mastered the art of denial early on. She very easily made excuses about Kevin’s disappearance. It was nothing. He hadn’t seen his parents in ages – this was necessary.

When Kevin returned from his trip, he called Mallory and said the most dreaded four words: “We need to talk.”

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True Confessions: Ms Perfect Girlfriend didn’t like Kevin’s “You are too good for me,” speech.  And she told him as much.

Next!

Confess