April Fools? Color me confused

What’s all the hoopla?

There is a movement afoot to dismiss the tricks and treats of this famous day, April First – aka April Fools Day. Say it isn’t so!

In San Francisco, people wait all year long to “dress up and kick up” their heels and laugh with /and at their compatriots… and parade downtown for the fun and famous  St Stupid’s Day Parade.

 

 

Colorful

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San Jose Dating: Fright or Flight?

First, there were the Boys in the Dorm. Zero.

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Then, the Socially Awkward Boys at Google:pexels-photo-981096.jpeg

So, you try Tinder...Bumble…Plenty of Fish and then Match.com

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Madison tells the story of her friend, Zoe, coming to visit from Kansas City. Zoe was thrilled to be in California and couldn’t wait to party with “cool Silicon Valley guys.” Madison opined that was an oxymoron. She claimed the boys in The Valley were just like High School or big  Private Party sex orgy jerks (see: Vanity Fair)  Zoe suggested having a party in the apartment Rec Room and to put up signs and balloons. Madison rolled her eyes and said that was “way too Mid West.” Not one to take “No” to party planning – Zoe was full steam ahead and placed Party Invites on various bulletin boards around the huge apartment complex and encouraged  Madison to text all her friends. Let’s party!

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Tomorrow: Party like it was 1950

He was hiding behind photos of his dog?

We were both amused by the guy on Eharmony who posted photos of his dog. Many photos of his pet – none of himself.

Lynne invited me over ot look at her recent “Interested” guys online. She is visiting her parents in Saratoga and needed a break.

She says she had been exchanging emails with a guy who claims to be close to the Oval Office and insisted he must  be discreet. He signed his first note “Hogan,”

which seemed odd. Hogans Heroes?  His notes to Lynne ( no phone calls, no text messages, yet) were upbeat and newsy. He dropped little Washington gossip quips.

Lynne works for a huge law firm in our Nation’s Capital – and never reveals that information until she knows a person for awhile.  For all Hogan knew, she was a writer. However, he dropped /bragged several clues regarding himself: love of Ole Miss and of beautiful Arkansas were folded into an email Week Number Two.

Google the guy – oh, my!

As clever as Hogan tried to be…the gift size clues he dropped allowed Lynne to “Out” him lickety split. She had her pals back in DC scope him out and she Googled the ever-livin’ life out of his “clues.”

He worked on two failed campigns and was not employed at the time. He had been “let go” a lot of people.

Lynne slipped away;  quickly blocked his emails and went about her merry dating life.

What were they thinking?

Are you playing Old Maid? No Way

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Once upon a time, along time ago, Single women were called spinsters.

As a child, I remember there were church ladies: widows, old maids, spinsters-wearing gloves, hats and sensible shoes, with dark wool coats and purses on their arms.

They seemed quiet, demure and quaint-very Eleanor Rigby- holed up in apartments. It seemed there was a small, army of quiet women.

Who’s to say there weren’t weekly parties with pitchers of martini’s, embroidered cocktail napkins, Wedgewood plates piled high with Pigs in a Blanket, silver bowls with warm, salted almonds, Velveeta squares on a Ritz crackers and the stereo playing Rachmaninov and Sinatra?

Flash forward, and, today, Single women come in many shapes, sizes and status. Some of us are Single-on-purpose, divorced, widowed, not interested, Gay, happy alone, still looking.

We are a sisterhood.

Fact: Women can lapse into a serious conversation with another woman in the time it takes to cross a boulevard. A simple, “I like you shoes,” has opened multiple, brief, heart-to-hearts.

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Yesterday, well over 2 million women (allies, kindred spirits, mates, new friends) gathered in 300 cities together– all over America – with their hearts in the same place. There was an invisible blanket of love and righteous indignation hovering over all.

Girls don’t like bullies. We don’t like mean, lying, cheating, tyrants or intimidators. We loathe sadistic, brutish and diabolical people. We are beyond incensed when our elected leaders sink to the depths of dishonesty and deceit.

Women are daughters, sisters, cousins, aunts, mothers and grandmothers…we may be kind and benevolent- however, we are not taking it any more.

We are not.

We Shall Persist. We Shall Resist.

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Romantic success story

cloud-600224__180-2Colleen will tell you she had so much fun her first three years being single while swimming in online dating pool.

First she met Johnny on Chemistry.com. She met Fred on JDate, Michael on Match and then Bert and Rick and Paul and Henry followed.

Her married friends were entertained with her stories.

She had “dates” three nights a week- her dance card was a very full- and her stories were fun and some exciting.

Colleen says she had been depressed for so long, she forgot how to have fun. Her celebratory party after the divorce was “the beginning” of a new a chapter and a new life.

After college, she had been a waitress, then a flight attendant. She transitioned into sales and became the director. She met Mr. Right – married, had kids. She had numerous part-time jobs and after years of marital struggles; she finally mustered the courage to divorce her husband.

Her best friend, Lilly, the copywriter, help her with her online profiles, she took the flattering pictures and got her up and running all in one afternoon.

By Monday morning, Colleen’s email box was full of winks and blinks from interested men. Lilly had warned her it would be a feeding frenzy in the beginning – she would be considered” fresh meat.” Colleen loved all the attention she was getting. She fell in and out of love multiple times and said she “really enjoyed every crush.”

15DATING1-master675Much to her surprise, one day Colleen re-kindled a relationship with a man from her college days. They ran into one another at a Santa Clara Wine Tasting. Kismet. She then  dated Tim, exclusively,  for three years before they made plans to move in together.

She says she is blissfully embarking upon her Happily Every After Chapters.

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Blink

He had one talent?

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Mike J. fell in love every week. Each week, he scrolled the pages of the online dating sites. He said It was a babe-buffet. 

Look but don’t touch

Mike J. spent a month looking – before he garnered the courage to sign up and jump into the dating pool. Cleverly, he checked out men’s profiles to determine what women want. He asked his sister to help him with  photographs and penning  his profile. It took much longer than he thought. When it came to listing his interests and  hobbies, Mike J came up empty. He watched television – a lot. He went to the gym a couple of times a month. He didn’t have hobbies. 

His favorite time of the year was Halloween, and his forte was his creative pumpkin carving. He was famous in high school and set up shop. Each Halloween, he consistently had 50 orders at $10.00 – $25.00 per for uniquely designed pumpkins. In college, he kept his secret talent quiet. When he started at his job, there was no way he wanted anyone to know about his deft knife handling hobby.

His younger sister urged him to brag about his artitstic ability. He bit. The lack of interest in him was sobering. He was crestfallen.

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Buzzkill: Fact- very few women are going to be enamored with a man who has one, single, skill  when it involves pumpkins. Get creative, think outside of the box. If you are an artistic genius – brag – promote yourself.

Conceit is bragging about yourself. Confidence means you believe you can get the job done.

Johnny Unitas

 

Carve

Feeling like Cinderella?

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Once upon a time…not that long ago, this happened:

On Monday mornings Do you Suffer from from Post Weekend Melancholia?

Listen to this Cinderella story for hope and optimism

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When Cinderella returned home after the ball – her spirits plummeted from levels of unbridled bliss and joy, she lapsed back to the mundane of hearth and home. 

All she had were vibrant, ephemeral, memories of the time very well spent and one cold, glass slipper.

She’d been in the arms of the True Prince and had been treated like a princess. She reveled in an melange of massages, manicures, merriment and fabulous gourmet meals. She sighed, again. She found herself sighing a lot more with this Prince.

Wistfully, she reminisced how the two playfully merged their imaginations and talents in creating romantic interludes. The charming Prince was gallant sweet and kind. And, seductive. She responded politely with oceans of affection. 

In all the land, no other could rival the good Prince’s kisses. He had developed a unique use of elevators for quick  passionate interludes.

Of course, his castle was the only building for dozens of miles with an elevator.

A brilliant businessman, he had a corner on the kingdom real estate market – and marketing was the skill set he embraced… that and Cinderella-  he embraced her often, too

And, so it begins… they were about to to live happily ever after.

The beginning.

 

 

 

Brilliant