He thought he was so smart

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His name on Match.com was Mr San Francisco 17

He did not post a photo of himself – just 10 stunning photographs of San Francisco ( lifted from the free site Pixabay) Okay, give him points for creativity – take away points for not posting his real photograph. Some people post fake photos.

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out – fake photos may entice and attract – however, the minute someone meets you in person – the jig is up. You can tap dance as fast as you can trying to explain the need for privacy, modesty, discretion – all that jazz – you are still a fake.

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Clever “Mr SF” met his Match-on-Match when Shelia-Skiier-Tahoe agreed to meet him at Starbucks on the Alameda. Kids, no one in their right mind posts a photo of Marilyn Monroe and claims the ID. Shelia – in a what was I thinking mood did. 

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MR SF walked into Starbucks, Shelia was seated at a table by the window looking for a San Francisco kind of a guy. On the phone, planning the date,  he said he would be “casual.”

Define Casual.

He walked right by her and she looked right through him. They sat at seperate tables sipping their coffees, waiting, scouring their phones – to kill time. Twenty minutes passed and Shelia became angry – she had been stood up.

Across the busy cafe, he became riled and decided to call the Tahoe Skiier. He dialled her number, she picked up and he asked her where she was. She asked him where he was. He said, “Starbucks,” and she loooked around. There were three guys speaking on their phones near her. Evidently, the tall, thin, red-head with the dressy, black leather pants was ‘the guy.’

He looked nothing like the John Cusak photo posted. Momentarily indignant, realizing her folly, she stood up and walked over to the red-head. 

No one but the two of them knows what was said. She walked out first. He sat at the table- looking our the window and watched her drive away in a brand new, red Tesla.

He always want to drive a Tesla, he called her again.

She didn’t pick up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Genius

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A cup of Con fefe every morning?

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We start each morning with a “Hiya, sun!”

That’s our abbreviated   Sun Salute.

A colorful fruit plate is our traditional weekday breakfast. Never the same -each day is a mealnge of seasonal sweet fruits. We toss in a few mini-berry muffins or hardboiled eggs. Voila!

Our stove top has special copper pot where each day we brew an addictive, floral concoction my granddad, Con, named Con Fefe – a name our family and friends have all used for decades.

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We were tickled to learn #45 had copied our recipe.

Revelation

Tip, Tipsy, or Tippler?

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Girls Make Passes at Cute Drinks in Pretty Glasses

The pretty pink drink with the sophisticated name was a Best-seller for a decade. Snooty bartenders loathed the concoction. And yet, scores of ladies kept asking for “The Cosmo.”

Sydney bragged that she “didn’t feel a thing” after quaffing three of the pretty cocktails. Buzzed and blurry she slurred the sentence – causing gales of laughter from the other tipplers at the table.

Flash forward, and the ladies who laugh had updated their Drink du jour to the ginger-laced Moscow Mule served in the pretty, shiny, copper mug. The takeaway with the Mule was the it really had “a kick” and a girl would be “rendered bi-lingual” after two of the potent drinks. Whoa!

It took awhile, as the girls explored the Wide and Wild Wonderful World of Cocktails. Finally, the girls realized sipping wine had a certain  je ne se quois ( bonus: few calories, cost less, and fewer slurred word conversations)

Cheers, girls!

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Slur

Ms Ng our Writing teacher rocked and railed

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Senior year, a bunch of us signed up for Ms Ng’s Writing Class.

Everyone said she was an “Easy A” and keeping a journal and a creating a blog were all we had to do.  I could do that in my sleep.

Little did we know, she was a graduate of the Stephen King Writing School of hard knocks and homework.

We all had to buy a copy of On Writing – the Memoir of the Craft. And, we had to read it.

There was no blog, no stinkin’ journal. We worked under the strict and strident Ms Ng. Well, that was the rumor our class disseminated. If the class prior was going to ‘fake us out’ with rumors of blogs and journals- we would return serve.

King’s bestseller, pre-imminent book on writing was, as advertised, “…clear, so useful and so revealing…” We inhaled it. King’s life was raucous and riveting.

Turns out,  Ng’s class was our favorite class. As tough as she was dialog and vocab- she was a rockstar! We read and wrote the entire two hours. We were “empowered and entertained” and darn it, educated.

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Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work.

Stephen King

My hero!

King has stated that he donates approximately $4 million per year “to libraries, local fire departments that need updated lifesaving equipment (Jaws of Life tools are always a popular request), schools, and a scattering of organisations that underwrite the arts.

 

Missing

Mind the Gap- dress for dating success?

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Problem: First Date in three years. What to say, what to wear?

Solution: Shop your closet or take quick trip to the Gap for a pair of flattering new slacks and a filmy peasant blouse. Pick up a chunky necklace at H&M or Charming Charlie’s. Slip on a  pair of neutral flats.

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Say what? How to avoid the communication gap: Relax, ask questions and listen. After the date, follow these three tips:

#1. Always say ‘Thank you.’

#2 First Date: Offer to pay your half. At a meal – offer to pay for the drinks or the dessert- don’t assume the man is going to pick up the tab.

#3. Respond sil vous plait…RSVP – If an individual has gone to the trouble of sending you an email, the courteous thing to do (even if the person is not your liking) is to respond. Thank the person for the correspondence and either go forward or say, “Thanks, we are not a match – good luck.”

Remember the Golden Rule

 

 

via Discover Challenge: Mind the Gap

Delete your “Must Have List”

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Be careful what you wish for…

Marnie dreamed of marrying a tall, dark and handsome man. She made a Vision Board and collected dozens of magazine pictures of George Clooney types. She bought books about romance, dating, and the Law of Attraction. Her best friend gave her a copy of Dear Saint Anne, Send me a Man.  She read it cover to cover and wrote magical quotes on post-it notes. Her mirrors were slathered in post-it notes. She lit a candle every night. 

Coming Up Empty

Despite her avid attempts to meet Mr Right, Marnie complained that she rarely met any “TDH” men. Her dream guy simply had to be 6’2. She is 5’7 – in heels.

We met for coffee at Hannah’s Coffee Shop on the Alameda and chatted for two hours. Easily, a half dozen guys smiled our way, nodded, or said “hi.” Blind Marnie didn’t see a thing. She is so fixated on a George Clooney Clone- she does give guy 5’7 a second glance.

We walked across the street to the Whole Foods and went upstairs to the Beer Garden.

She finally agreed to – for two weeks only- look at and smile at men her height. We enjoyed a few of the 16 beers offered…and chatted with  some really cool guys – of every shape and size. Marnie slowly got off her high horse and unleashed some flirting mojo.

 In the time we were there, I was delighted to seek her give her card to two cute guys.She told them it would be fun to have coffee – and to call her. Bingo!

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What are you wasting your time on? 

 

via Daily Prompt: Careful