The Dating Twins meet Good, bad, Uggs

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The Twins and the Dating guru

Henry and Jeff are twins, 52, single again and looking for new wives.                         One brother is divorced and the other is a widow of long standing.                                        The brothers run the family ranch near Gilroy and recently sold hundred-plus acres to a Google majordomo.   They made a ton of money- and are beginning to downsize and      re-think Life 101

Their great friend, MarieK is in the know – she is well conncected and has a bevy of single girl friends from college, working and play. In a hearbeat, she knew just the gals for the guys. So she thought… 

Like the Three Bears:  Jeff and Henry knew what they didn’t want…as men from a farm background – they knew what kind of woman would fit in to their “rural” ) (think Ralph Lauren rural) lifestyle.

The both had dreams…high-flyin, high falootin dreams of Va Va VAoom  Rural girls – 20 years their junior -preferably.

Money can’t buy you love…but, it helps

Henry and Jeff were oblivious to the fact that their wealth and success preceded them in every aspect of dating in a small town.

They reached out to San Francisco Dating Sites and failed miserably…Cowboy shirts and Tony Llama Boots do not a chick magnet make in The City.

The brothers decided to hit San Jose…they chose Fiorellos in Santa Clara for “the place” to meet and greet” all  the single women they met online.

Henry, more of a charmer, met five women in two weeks and was gob-smacked. He liked this dating stuff. Meanwhile, Jeff, very picky, hung back – met three women – none were as “cute” and he had hoped. He perfected, “Oh! Look at the time! Sorry – I must rush.” Bad Form, dude.

MarieK called the twins – inquired about their dating success and easily convinced them she would be their matchmaker. Within one month, she had introduced the guys to ladies they both were enamored with…instantly. We are all waiting for happily ever after.zaobpee_vv4-laura-ockel

 

San Jose Singles – love to be in love?

Match.com  sez “San Jose is not a city of flings.”

San Jose ranks #1 in the Bay Area for Serious Singles looking for long-term relationships.

Across the nation, it ranks #4 in the top 10 cities with the most Serious Daters and #1 on the list of “singles looking for love.”

For some, Love in 90 Days is a Bible. The esteemed author, Dr Kirschner, is dating guru with a plethora of great dating advice and techniques. ( See: book, blog, podcast, telesemniars…)

Even Mother Teresa says ” Love is a fruit in season at all times.”

Looking for love in all the wrong places…yoga, knitting classes, painting classes – are great places to meet women. Men, not so much.

Yeah, men love Beer, Brews, Pubs…Do you want to meet in brew pub?

Try Singles Hiking, Golf, Wine Tasting Events, Rock Climbing classes, Cycling events, Coed Sports teams…

If you are going to dabble online: Have a good friend assist with photos, you unique screen name and all the “copy” you have to provide to attract a mate.

Hot Tips: Get off the couch and out of the house. Don’t waste time on a dead-end relationship.

Notice the red flags and move on.   Whoever asks, pays.

 

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So Many Books, So Little Time

Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man has shards of wisdom scattered throughout. Stroll down the aisles of your library and pick up three or four dating books.  (Dating for Dummies is really a treasure trove.)

As is, the classic : He is Just Not That Into You 

The best selling dating how-to-book, The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right is a lark and a laugh and is peppered with some pretty good ideas for dating at 50.

Remember:

Don’t waste time on a dead-end relationship. Notice the red flags and move on. 

 

 

Feeling like Cinderella?

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Once upon a time…not that long ago, this happened:

On Monday mornings Do you Suffer from from Post Weekend Melancholia?

Listen to this Cinderella story for hope and optimism

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When Cinderella returned home after the ball – her spirits plummeted from levels of unbridled bliss and joy, she lapsed back to the mundane of hearth and home. 

All she had were vibrant, ephemeral, memories of the time very well spent and one cold, glass slipper.

She’d been in the arms of the True Prince and had been treated like a princess. She reveled in an melange of massages, manicures, merriment and fabulous gourmet meals. She sighed, again. She found herself sighing a lot more with this Prince.

Wistfully, she reminisced how the two playfully merged their imaginations and talents in creating romantic interludes. The charming Prince was gallant sweet and kind. And, seductive. She responded politely with oceans of affection. 

In all the land, no other could rival the good Prince’s kisses. He had developed a unique use of elevators for quick  passionate interludes.

Of course, his castle was the only building for dozens of miles with an elevator.

A brilliant businessman, he had a corner on the kingdom real estate market – and marketing was the skill set he embraced… that and Cinderella-  he embraced her often, too

And, so it begins… they were about to to live happily ever after.

The beginning.

 

 

 

Brilliant

He thought he was so smart

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His name on Match.com was Mr San Francisco 17

He did not post a photo of himself – just 10 stunning photographs of San Francisco ( lifted from the free site Pixabay) Okay, give him points for creativity – take away points for not posting his real photograph. Some people post fake photos.

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out – fake photos may entice and attract – however, the minute someone meets you in person – the jig is up. You can tap dance as fast as you can trying to explain the need for privacy, modesty, discretion – all that jazz – you are still a fake.

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Clever “Mr SF” met his Match-on-Match when Shelia-Skiier-Tahoe agreed to meet him at Starbucks on the Alameda. Kids, no one in their right mind posts a photo of Marilyn Monroe and claims the ID. Shelia – in a what was I thinking mood did. 

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MR SF walked into Starbucks, Shelia was seated at a table by the window looking for a San Francisco kind of a guy. On the phone, planning the date,  he said he would be “casual.”

Define Casual.

He walked right by her and she looked right through him. They sat at seperate tables sipping their coffees, waiting, scouring their phones – to kill time. Twenty minutes passed and Shelia became angry – she had been stood up.

Across the busy cafe, he became riled and decided to call the Tahoe Skiier. He dialled her number, she picked up and he asked her where she was. She asked him where he was. He said, “Starbucks,” and she loooked around. There were three guys speaking on their phones near her. Evidently, the tall, thin, red-head with the dressy, black leather pants was ‘the guy.’

He looked nothing like the John Cusak photo posted. Momentarily indignant, realizing her folly, she stood up and walked over to the red-head. 

No one but the two of them knows what was said. She walked out first. He sat at the table- looking our the window and watched her drive away in a brand new, red Tesla.

He always want to drive a Tesla, he called her again.

She didn’t pick up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Genius

A cup of Con fefe every morning?

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We start each morning with a “Hiya, sun!”

That’s our abbreviated   Sun Salute.

A colorful fruit plate is our traditional weekday breakfast. Never the same -each day is a mealnge of seasonal sweet fruits. We toss in a few mini-berry muffins or hardboiled eggs. Voila!

Our stove top has special copper pot where each day we brew an addictive, floral concoction my granddad, Con, named Con Fefe – a name our family and friends have all used for decades.

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We were tickled to learn #45 had copied our recipe.

Revelation

Tip, Tipsy, or Tippler?

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Girls Make Passes at Cute Drinks in Pretty Glasses

The pretty pink drink with the sophisticated name was a Best-seller for a decade. Snooty bartenders loathed the concoction. And yet, scores of ladies kept asking for “The Cosmo.”

Sydney bragged that she “didn’t feel a thing” after quaffing three of the pretty cocktails. Buzzed and blurry she slurred the sentence – causing gales of laughter from the other tipplers at the table.

Flash forward, and the ladies who laugh had updated their Drink du jour to the ginger-laced Moscow Mule served in the pretty, shiny, copper mug. The takeaway with the Mule was the it really had “a kick” and a girl would be “rendered bi-lingual” after two of the potent drinks. Whoa!

It took awhile, as the girls explored the Wide and Wild Wonderful World of Cocktails. Finally, the girls realized sipping wine had a certain  je ne se quois ( bonus: few calories, cost less, and fewer slurred word conversations)

Cheers, girls!

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Slur

Caution: The letter “whot he wrote”

Beware the ideas of Matchmakers

Trixie was so exited, she had just paid the hefty fee ($3000) and signed up                with Matchmakers Sacramento* Her “Romance Counselor” Kitty,  told her she would be inundated with wonderful men her age!

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Kitty  assured Trixie that there were dozens of men that fit the description of her “Dream date.” She said there were more men in her age group (30-50) than any other.

She also divulged that the company didn’t use any of those newfangled contraptions call computers; that there were highly-trained, highly-motivated,  educated, Real Matchmakers.

Trixie left the office on Cloud Nine

Two weeks flew by and she had heard nothing from the Matchmaker. She called Kitty and inquired about the “long list” of potential men 

Kitty said she was looking for the one, really perfect, connection for her and didn’t want Trixie to waste her time on anybody that wasn’t less-than-perfect. She did say, she just enrolled a very handsome, mature, bachelor. He preferred to send and receive hand-written notes rather than speak on the phone. Quaint or queer?

Trixie thought this was odd. What the heck. She sat back and waited another week.

Monday morning, the mail brought a plain white envelope with what appeared to be a child’s handwriting. Curious, she opened the letter and tried to transcribe the scrawl.

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Henry from Petaluma wrote:

I scent you a letter last week and it came back to me.

Please sent me a letter.

Loving kisses,

Henry

At first, Trixie thought this was a joke. Perhaps one of her friends was teasing her. Nope, the postmark was actually Petaluma. She promptly called  Kitty to inquire; she told her that Henry was a very nice guy- a hunter -with a heart of gold.

The following day, another letter arrived in the mail with the photograph of Henry and his friends.He wrote on the back, “Me and the duck dudes.”

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Trixie called “Fowl!”

She tired to get her money back from the company. However, she was told that “Matchmaker had an iron clad contract”  which precludes any reimbursements.

Trixie is now telling anyone who will listen about “Matchmaker”(Sonoma, Sacramento, Walnut Creek.)telephone-handset-1678302__340

The good news is she met a guy in line at Whole Foods  in Novato, three months ago, and all is well in her world. A very expensive lesson.

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*See YELP reviews HERE

Read Comments here:

1.) Sacto Matchmakers most unethical company I have came across.  I joined this company back in May 2016.  After calling me and trying to introduce me to people that were not in my criteria I requested a refund.  They refused to refund me I even took them to court and they still refuse to refund me.  I told them from the start I’m not interested to deal with them as I found out how bad their company is they refused to refund me.  Out of 4 matches they introduced me to 1 person totally a mismatch, then they gave me a phone number of another, he never called therefore we never meet but this company considers that as a 2nd match.

I just wanted my money back as I don’t believe in their service and their ethics.

2.) Watch out for these people they are the biggest scammers I have come across.  You would think if you don’t use the service and you are not happy with the service from the first couple of weeks they should refund at least part of the money back!

3.) Just warning you don’t use this company or you might learn the expensive way after you join them.  By the way this company is under different names(California Singles)  which they passed me on to.
4.) Suffice it to say this is definitely a bait and switch operation.  My dates ended up costing me about $750 each and most were just coffee dates.  Save your money try online or something else.

 

 

Scent

Ms Ng our Writing teacher rocked and railed

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Senior year, a bunch of us signed up for Ms Ng’s Writing Class.

Everyone said she was an “Easy A” and keeping a journal and a creating a blog were all we had to do.  I could do that in my sleep.

Little did we know, she was a graduate of the Stephen King Writing School of hard knocks and homework.

We all had to buy a copy of On Writing – the Memoir of the Craft. And, we had to read it.

There was no blog, no stinkin’ journal. We worked under the strict and strident Ms Ng. Well, that was the rumor our class disseminated. If the class prior was going to ‘fake us out’ with rumors of blogs and journals- we would return serve.

King’s bestseller, pre-imminent book on writing was, as advertised, “…clear, so useful and so revealing…” We inhaled it. King’s life was raucous and riveting.

Turns out,  Ng’s class was our favorite class. As tough as she was dialog and vocab- she was a rockstar! We read and wrote the entire two hours. We were “empowered and entertained” and darn it, educated.

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Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work.

Stephen King

My hero!

King has stated that he donates approximately $4 million per year “to libraries, local fire departments that need updated lifesaving equipment (Jaws of Life tools are always a popular request), schools, and a scattering of organisations that underwrite the arts.

 

Missing