First words

baby-316212__340-2

The baby girl was a cute as a can be.

People would stop her mother on the street and admire the beautiful child.

Once the pretty baby graduated from baby carriage to the stroller- more fans winked and  smiled and lavished praise on the pretty girl. The baby beamed, smiled and cooed. She was alert, engaging and a magnet for attention. 

Two years went by and the baby grew prettier – however, she failed to speak. She was examined, tested, analyzed and the consensus was she wouel speak when she wanted to.

On Halloween, she tripped and fell on the stairs and howled. She said, “Thorny!”           The family was so taken by her first word, they failed to grasp her meaning.

She howled louder, pulled up her Cinderella Costume and pointed to her knee and lisped: “Sore Knee!”

 

Thorny

Advertisements

Tip, Tipsy, or Tippler?

cocktail-919074__180-2cocktail-1705561__180-2

Girls Make Passes at Cute Drinks in Pretty Glasses

The pretty pink drink with the sophisticated name was a Best-seller for a decade. Snooty bartenders loathed the concoction. And yet, scores of ladies kept asking for “The Cosmo.”

Sydney bragged that she “didn’t feel a thing” after quaffing three of the pretty cocktails. Buzzed and blurry she slurred the sentence – causing gales of laughter from the other tipplers at the table.

Flash forward, and the ladies who laugh had updated their Drink du jour to the ginger-laced Moscow Mule served in the pretty, shiny, copper mug. The takeaway with the Mule was the it really had “a kick” and a girl would be “rendered bi-lingual” after two of the potent drinks. Whoa!

It took awhile, as the girls explored the Wide and Wild Wonderful World of Cocktails. Finally, the girls realized sipping wine had a certain  je ne se quois ( bonus: few calories, cost less, and fewer slurred word conversations)

Cheers, girls!

wine-426466__180

 

 

 

Slur

Too much Zip in Zappos? Bah, humbug!

christmas-1079908__180mens-shoes-875947__180

Dear Zappos,

Don’t drown me in “Cute” All I want for Christmas is an Answer.

Bah humbug to waiting 35 minutes on hold with Zapposanimal-17474__180-2

Penning a quick email should warrant a quick response, no?

No!  Here is the lengthy, (edited to protect the innocent) ad nauseam, response:

Thank you for contacting the Zappos Customer Loyalty Team. My name is Supergirl…… er I mean Tiffany, and I’d be happy to help you today!  Just don’t give away my secret identity!

I apologize for any inconvenience. Unfortunately, for your security, we cannot assist by email request unless you contact us from the email address this particular order is attached to. If you aren’t sure which email address it was or you no longer have access to it, please contact us by phone .... ( Insert: a Big Ho! Ho! Ho! You’ll be on HOld for 30+ minutes here) 

etc. etc .etc.       I’m off to help Clark in Metropolis.. well actually Las Vegas! Hope you have a SUPER day! Let us know if you need anymore help, we’re here 24/7.

Well, twas days before Christmas and I had an order- too much cute and too much inane and I go right to to the Dalai Lama for a touch of calm in the insanity

Calm mind brings inner strength and self-confidence, so that’s very important for good health.

Dalai Lama
Calm