Psst! I’ve got a secret…don’t tell anyone

We are six girls who grew up together…

We attended the same college- lived in the same dorms and have remained close friends for over 20 years.

We exchange birthday gifts, Christmas cards, floods of emails and celebrate ourselves at an annual “retreat” at Yosemite.

We share one dark secret that no one ever discusses, anymore.

Sophomore year, we all attended a kegger at one of the frat houses. Campus police had warned every girl on campus  not to drink the nefarious Frat Punch. We heard too many nightmare stories and as a result, we drank our home-made yummy pink Lemonade/Vodka slushes throughout college.

At the Homecoming warm up party we ran into the twins, Tim and Thomas from Seattle. They were cute, outgoing and very  popular. They joined us – and we went to three parties that night. One of the twins had too much to drink and got a little weepy. Siobhan and I sat with him as he rambled about this Catholic priest. A bad priest from his hometown. We spent an hour listening to him. Long story short: the sicko priest had been abusing lots of the boys in town. We listened with great sorrow and compassion. Something happened – campus police busted the party and we all hugged and went to our respective dorms. We talked long into the night.

The Campaign Commenced

Siobhan’s dad was a Los Angeles police officer and her uncle was some higher up in the Catholic faith- a bishop or archbishop. The next day, she was on the phone with her dad and the rest of us researched Father NoName. In no time, we had his name, parish address and phone number. Three of us are English majors and our fingers used to fly over typewriter keys.We started a stealth, anonymous campaign to get this priest “in trouble.”

Within four weeks, we wrote, multitudes of letters, called the right people, contacted newspapers and contacts of contacts and Father NoName was removed from his parish. Was possibly arrested. Relocated. The trail grew cold.

You can google Father NoName all day long. You won’t find him.

We made him disappear.

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Relocate

Evasive Action

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To tell the truth? Not happening

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The Cast of Characters: Who are you going to believe?

The attorney who  forgot his wife works in the White House? The then 30-year-old preying upon young teenage girls?

Sarah – Spinner of Lies -with in almost straight face?

A president in bed with the most evil Russian,  Putin?

 

“The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.”

Bertrand Russell

 

Dubious

First words

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The baby girl was a cute as a can be.

People would stop her mother on the street and admire the beautiful child.

Once the pretty baby graduated from baby carriage to the stroller- more fans winked and  smiled and lavished praise on the pretty girl. The baby beamed, smiled and cooed. She was alert, engaging and a magnet for attention. 

Two years went by and the baby grew prettier – however, she failed to speak. She was examined, tested, analyzed and the consensus was she wouel speak when she wanted to.

On Halloween, she tripped and fell on the stairs and howled. She said, “Thorny!”           The family was so taken by her first word, they failed to grasp her meaning.

She howled louder, pulled up her Cinderella Costume and pointed to her knee and lisped: “Sore Knee!”

 

Thorny

Tip, Tipsy, or Tippler?

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Girls Make Passes at Cute Drinks in Pretty Glasses

The pretty pink drink with the sophisticated name was a Best-seller for a decade. Snooty bartenders loathed the concoction. And yet, scores of ladies kept asking for “The Cosmo.”

Sydney bragged that she “didn’t feel a thing” after quaffing three of the pretty cocktails. Buzzed and blurry she slurred the sentence – causing gales of laughter from the other tipplers at the table.

Flash forward, and the ladies who laugh had updated their Drink du jour to the ginger-laced Moscow Mule served in the pretty, shiny, copper mug. The takeaway with the Mule was the it really had “a kick” and a girl would be “rendered bi-lingual” after two of the potent drinks. Whoa!

It took awhile, as the girls explored the Wide and Wild Wonderful World of Cocktails. Finally, the girls realized sipping wine had a certain  je ne se quois ( bonus: few calories, cost less, and fewer slurred word conversations)

Cheers, girls!

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Slur