Tip, Tipsy, or Tippler?

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Girls Make Passes at Cute Drinks in Pretty Glasses

The pretty pink drink with the sophisticated name was a Best-seller for a decade. Snooty bartenders loathed the concoction. And yet, scores of ladies kept asking for “The Cosmo.”

Sydney bragged that she “didn’t feel a thing” after quaffing three of the pretty cocktails. Buzzed and blurry she slurred the sentence – causing gales of laughter from the other tipplers at the table.

Flash forward, and the ladies who laugh had updated their Drink du jour to the ginger-laced Moscow Mule served in the pretty, shiny, copper mug. The takeaway with the Mule was the it really had “a kick” and a girl would be “rendered bi-lingual” after two of the potent drinks. Whoa!

It took awhile, as the girls explored the Wide and Wild Wonderful World of Cocktails. Finally, the girls realized sipping wine had a certain  je ne se quois ( bonus: few calories, cost less, and fewer slurred word conversations)

Cheers, girls!

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Slur

Too much Zip in Zappos? Bah, humbug!

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Dear Zappos,

Don’t drown me in “Cute” All I want for Christmas is an Answer.

Bah humbug to waiting 35 minutes on hold with Zapposanimal-17474__180-2

Penning a quick email should warrant a quick response, no?

No!  Here is the lengthy, (edited to protect the innocent) ad nauseam, response:

Thank you for contacting the Zappos Customer Loyalty Team. My name is Supergirl…… er I mean Tiffany, and I’d be happy to help you today!  Just don’t give away my secret identity!

I apologize for any inconvenience. Unfortunately, for your security, we cannot assist by email request unless you contact us from the email address this particular order is attached to. If you aren’t sure which email address it was or you no longer have access to it, please contact us by phone .... ( Insert: a Big Ho! Ho! Ho! You’ll be on HOld for 30+ minutes here) 

etc. etc .etc.       I’m off to help Clark in Metropolis.. well actually Las Vegas! Hope you have a SUPER day! Let us know if you need anymore help, we’re here 24/7.

Well, twas days before Christmas and I had an order- too much cute and too much inane and I go right to to the Dalai Lama for a touch of calm in the insanity

Calm mind brings inner strength and self-confidence, so that’s very important for good health.

Dalai Lama
Calm

One girl’s story and rocky relationships…

You could see Pretty Pauline behind the Chanel Cosmetic counter at the famous department store four days a week.

A natural saleswoman, she knew the makeup line inside and out. She could dazzle you with statistics and awesome updates on the latest, best, “new” wonder product.

Every other month, she was on the phone calling her best clients – advising them of a new promotion and the sexy new Gift With Purchase. She seduced the ladies with pretty promises of saving them a “Special gift.”

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Women are gaga for free cosmetics and samples. We love tiny little samples of lipsticks, eyeshadows and magical mythical potions to hold back the hands of time.

Pauline had developed a long list of fans. Somedays, it looked like she was holding court with her “work friends,” as she called them at home.

wine-openerShe was home from work at 5 pm. It took an hour to get home and she usually arrived tired and a little cranky. Her husband had several bottles of Chardonnay chilled in the downstairs bar, at all times.

To say Pretty Pauline morphed into Cranky Pauline is accurate.

She arrived home tired, spent and grumpy. The neighbors barking dog bugged her. Not being able to find parking in their cramped neighborhood was a problem – at least one night a week. They had an agreement, she would do all the grocery shopping if he would start dinner. Most nights he arrived home just before her and quickly put a pot of water on to boil and opened bag of lettuce and poured it in a bowl.

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After her third glass of wine, she was bit like Elizabeth Taylor in”Who is Afraid of Virginia Wolf?”

Pretty Pauline evaporated into thin air. Moody and generally inconsolable was front and center.

Did the real Pauline show up?

Her husband tried. They tried marriage counseling. Nothing worked. He left. She moved to a studio near Santana Row. She started dating and, in the beginning, men loved Pretty Pauline.

Then, not so much. In time, with help,Pauline learned to “put her fangs back in” and to chill.

photo_8735_20081228Moody