“Hell is empty and all the devils are here.”
“One person with courage is a majority.” – Thomas Jefferson
They said Original Sin was a hand-me-down.
Seems like Eve was very hungry in the Garden of Eden…
She thought she had signed up for the Garden of Eating…She was not a Vegan or a Vegetarian – she was a very hungry carnivore.
The infamous Slithery Snake came along and – long story short: there was a ruby red, organic, Honey Crisp Apple dangling before her and she bit.
Bam! Lightening and thunder! And, Eve may have raised a little cane…
(oddly, enough another one was in her future.)
And so it came to be – All of Eve’s children and grandchildren and all God’s chillins would-be born with Original Sin.
All because of an apple.
And, that, children, is where the phrase,
“How do you like them apples?” came about.
Marnie dreamed of marrying a tall, dark and handsome man. She made a Vision Board and collected dozens of magazine pictures of George Clooney types. She bought books about romance, dating, and the Law of Attraction. Her best friend gave her a copy of Dear Saint Anne, Send me a Man. She read it cover to cover and wrote magical quotes on post-it notes. Her mirrors were slathered in post-it notes. She lit a candle every night.
Coming Up Empty
Despite her avid attempts to meet Mr Right, Marnie complained that she rarely met any “TDH” men. Her dream guy simply had to be 6’2. She is 5’7 – in heels.
We met for coffee at Hannah’s Coffee Shop on the Alameda and chatted for two hours. Easily, a half dozen guys smiled our way, nodded, or said “hi.” Blind Marnie didn’t see a thing. She is so fixated on a George Clooney Clone- she does give guy 5’7 a second glance.
We walked across the street to the Whole Foods and went upstairs to the Beer Garden.
She finally agreed to – for two weeks only- look at and smile at men her height. We enjoyed a few of the 16 beers offered…and chatted with some really cool guys – of every shape and size. Marnie slowly got off her high horse and unleashed some flirting mojo.
In the time we were there, I was delighted to seek her give her card to two cute guys.She told them it would be fun to have coffee – and to call her. Bingo!
What are you wasting your time on?
Each summer, he escapes for four weeks to “go camping with the guys.” Actually, he is playing in the woods with his buddies at the Bohemian Grove at the Russian River. She calls it “Burning Man for old rich guys.”
She has missed having a date for multiple weddings, parties, trips, and really fun weekend outings. People have stopped asking. “Where’s Brad?”
Saturday, she attended an afternoon wedding at the Chapel at Stanford. She looked fabulous as she walked into the packed house-of-God, with two single girl friends.
George saw her walk in and causally moved from the back of the church to a pew behind Jennie.
The minister opened the wedding ceremony with an invitation for everyone to stand and turn and greet those around them. George gave Jennie the warm, double-hand shake, and he lingered a second. She noticed. He was cute!
After the wedding, he nonchalantly walked beside her as the church slowly emptied.
George was single, polite, cute, funny and available. He didn’t belong to the Bohemian Club nor did he have any interest in “playing at the Playa.” They sat together at the reception.
He gave her time to talk to her friends- fetched drinks for the table and scored innumerable points. When he returned to the table with a plate stacked with wedding cupcakes- all the girls swooned. Jennie was very happy.
You snooze, you lose -and then it was, it was buh-bye Brad time.
Jennie and George have been dating for six months.
All the socialite wanted was to traipse around Union Square in her buggy. Her regal bearing, the stateliness of the vehicle, and the ostentation of the fine feathered spectacle garnered just what she craved.
Her husband, the famous lumber baron, eradicated boredom by posing for quirky photos in controversial costumes.